Surprised by RCs (Relational Circuits)

Yesterday morning, my husband was going around straightening the house.  Sometimes he puts things away that he feels are not necessary. Even if I think they are fine where they are. Well, I was busy working on a project and he kept trying to get my attention to let me know he was going to put away my candles that were on the counter in the kitchen. Feeling a bit stressed, I didn’t want to give him attention. Well, he just seemed to have the need to tell me he was taking the candles and putting them in the candle drawer. So, I snapped. “OK go put them in the drawer!” Of course, he knew I was distressed. So, I preceded to try to let him know why this upset me and the more I tried the more he ignored me. I told him to put down his laptop and listen, So, he did but I could tell he was not focused and was preoccupied with his laptop. His RCs were definitely OFF!!!! Well next tactic. I realized that his RCs were off and whatever I said was running through his ears like water off a duck’s back. So, I said, “Honey, let’s do our breathing exercise.” I reasoned that once he got his RCs on then he would listen to me. Then, I turned on the timer and we sat there quietly and breathed. Strange, at about the 3-minute mark I started to realize that my RCs were also off. I was trying to lecture my husband and let him know how upset I was without consideration of his side of the story. At 4 minutes what I was upset about didin’t seem to be that big of a deal. By 5 minutes, I was giggling. The whole incident seemed so trivial. When we shared after the 5 minutes, it was warm and light. We both went away smiling. Our RC switches were turned on not by reasoning or getting our points across or being right, but by just sitting in the presence of the Lord and listening to the still small voice.

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